Key ideas
Core concepts
- Rapport is built on genuine interest and meaningful conversation, not forced “nice” interactions.
- People enjoy talking about themselves; the more students share, the more they trust their teacher. Active listening and validation show students their experiences have been understood.
Rapport is a positive relationship with students built through genuine interest, active listening, and authentic interaction that supports learning and mutual respect.
Connected To
Active Listening | Validation | Emotions | Relationships and Regulation
Building rapport
Effective rapport requires specific rather than generic praise. Generic praise provides no useful information (Hattie & Timperley, 2007). Saying “good job” offers students no guidance about what they did well or how to repeat their success. Specific praise such as “I like how you explained your reasoning step by step” demonstrates genuine attention and guides future performance.
Genuine availability matters too. Teachers should be open to conversation without appearing busy with other tasks, looking around the room, or checking their watch.
Students read nonverbal cues more accurately than they process verbal messages (Mehrabian, 1972). Misalignment between words and body language destroys trust, so teachers should keep their body language consistent with their Emotions and avoid mixed signals. Research on eye contact suggests approximately 80% when students are speaking and 50% when teachers are speaking creates appropriate engagement without discomfort (Argyle & Cook, 1976; Kleinke, 1986).
Conversation strategies
Better questions open more meaningful conversations than generic greetings. Instead of “How are you?”, a question like “What’s the favourite part of your week?” invites a substantive response. Asking for opinions (avoiding politics and religion) and showing genuine curiosity about students’ interests and experiences builds connection.
People generally enjoy talking about themselves, and the more students share, the more they trust their teachers. Prompts that encourage self-expression include “Tell me more about…”, “Oh? How did that affect you?”, “How did you come up with that?”, “Why did you think of that?”, “What was the best or worst part of that?”, and “Why do you think that happened?”. Repeating the last few words a student said and trailing off also encourages them to continue.
Two skills underpin these conversations. Active Listening means focusing on understanding the other person’s perspective rather than preparing your response. Validation means acknowledging and accepting another person’s experience, showing that you understand their feelings and perspective even if you don’t agree.
Humour builds connection when teachers listen carefully, remember things students said previously, and put a funny twist on them when appropriate.
Handling disagreements
Productive disagreement starts with listening actively instead of shutting down when hearing opposing views. Teachers should try to understand why students think a certain way, then reflect what they’ve heard by paraphrasing or asking questions. Accepting some responsibility where appropriate, and calmly asserting your perspective whilst sharing your experience, models respectful disagreement.
Professional boundaries
Good rapport requires setting firm boundaries, providing structured environments, and ensuring student success rather than being “nice” or chatting about football (Marzano et al., 2003; Brophy, 2006). Students respect teachers who combine high expectations with genuine care (Cornelius-White, 2007; Roorda et al., 2011), not those who prioritise superficial friendliness (Wubbels et al., 2006).
References
Hattie, J., & Timperley, H. (2007). The power of feedback. Review of Educational Research, 77(1), 81-112. https://doi.org/10.3102/003465430298487
Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication. Aldine-Atherton.
Argyle, M., & Cook, M. (1976). Gaze and mutual gaze. Cambridge University Press.
Kleinke, C. L. (1986). Gaze and eye contact: A research review. Psychological Bulletin, 100(1), 78-100. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.100.1.78
Cornelius-White, J. (2007). Learner-centered teacher-student relationships are effective: A meta-analysis. Review of Educational Research, 77(1), 113-143. https://doi.org/10.3102/003465430298563
Roorda, D. L., Koomen, H. M. Y., Spilt, J. L., & Oort, F. J. (2011). The influence of affective teacher-student relationships on students’ school engagement and achievement: A meta-analytic approach. Review of Educational Research, 81(4), 493-529. https://doi.org/10.3102/0034654311421793
Wubbels, T., Brekelmans, M., den Brok, P., & van Tartwijk, J. (2006). An interpersonal perspective on classroom management in secondary classrooms in the Netherlands. In C. Evertson & C. Weinstein (Eds.), Handbook of classroom management: Research, practice, and contemporary issues (pp. 1161-1191). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Marzano, R. J., Marzano, J. S., & Pickering, D. J. (2003). Classroom management that works: Research-based strategies for every teacher. Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.
Brophy, J. (2006). History of research on classroom management. In C. Evertson & C. Weinstein (Eds.), Handbook of classroom management: Research, practice, and contemporary issues (pp. 17-43). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.